#coachthursdays - How to find yourself


One thing I am very grateful for is growing up in a time where music meant something. I mean the lyrics for me were important. I may sound like an old Grandpapa, but I was fortunate to actually really love music and connect with it. This then made me realise I enjoy the fact of how music works. Imagine someone is able to create something that can make others feel good or dance to, or learn from, or just simply relate with, or use it to work through their demons and problems by letting it out through expressing themselves with music.

My question to you would be what would you do if you had all the money in the world, what would you do?

To find yourself, it is as easy as finding the thing you would do for free, regardless of money. Now, this sounds very simple but the reality is, many have lost their true self by letting other things get in the way.

There are many that also believe it is too late for this type of thinking in their lives, they are just trying to survive, feed their children, keep a job. Then there are some that have got so used to believing money is the solution for them, and simply just want to have enough money as they are tired of poverty, and this may well be the solution to many of our problems, as money is indeed a tool and can help, but the problem is, why are some of the poorest people the most happiest people, and some of the richest people committing suicide? Could the answer be because we can at times be doing good things, but these good things are taking us away from who we really are? And what happens when you become so used to doing what you have been doing, and it even makes you feel good?

Why do some people go through a mid-life crisis, or suddenly decide they need a whole new look, they cut their hair or start changing their friends, or start feeling they have wasted their life and begin to blame their children, or parents, or even the system (and the system can even be partly to blame); but is the real answer that we have allowed things to take us away from ourselves. Who are you? Who are you really? Who were you as a child?

here to read how to use information. Click here to read how to not get intimidated by the unknown. Click here to read how to overcome sexual desire and lust – delaying sexual gratification. Click here to read how to get motivated to do things. Click here to read how to adapt to changes in life – being resilient. Click here to read how to overcome the battle of expectations. Click here to read how to overcome the pain of rejection. Click here to read how to overcome low self-esteem. Click here to read how to overcome impatience. Click here to read how to overcome anxiety. Click here to read how to believe in yourself. Click here to read how to make things happen. Click here to read how to change habits.

Now another complication is the fact there are those that would answer my question about what would you do if you had all the money in the world, by stating they just want to eat good, travel, buy clothes, have lots of experiences, and they don’t believe they have any strong passions and things that they love, they just want to be debt-free, or they just want to be free. But I truly believe, along the way some of these people have forgotten parts of themselves.

How to find yourself:

1) Take time to be with yourself, so you can listen to what is really inside of you (click 
here to read how to be alone), so you can remember the things you once were passionate about, and for those that believe they were never passionate about anything, be honest with yourself there was something you really liked, even if it was just a TV show or a song, really break down the TV show or the song and find what was it about it, that you really liked.

Perhaps it was they inspired you and made you feel they somehow had life all figured out, maybe to find yourself you need to be around inspiring people and creative people; or was it just you were able to escape life by watching the TV show or listening to the song. But what are you escaping from? Could it be, you are escaping from the challenge and change that you need to overcome that would ultimately lead you to your true self.

What if you could find yourself just by collecting all the clues to where you have left pieces of yourself.

2) Collect yourself, reflect and find all the places, or things that made you smile, or full of joy, or you felt a sense of injustice about or a burning feeling that left you wishing you could do something about something, put the pieces together, and use them as clues.

3) Stop running, there are many that know they need to change and know what they have left behind but have got very comfortable with their wealth, or success, or even comfortable with their depression, but stop running from yourself, trust yourself. Click 
here to read how to believe in yourself.

4) Don’t fear the change. Think about things that have stretched you, challenged you, made you uncomfortable.

Finding yourself is not always about finding the things you love and enjoy, it is also about what things have made you grow and stretched you, it may even be people, stay close to people that make you be better. Your purpose may be linked with the very thing that you even think is your weakness, or your deep secrets that you are scared and ashamed to share with people. Stop running from your truths and from your challenges. Come out of your comfort zone.

5) Understand purpose, life may have you believing that we are here for no reason, but the truth is you have a unique purpose, your purpose is linked to who you are. Would a fish be able to swim if it was never in water, how can you learn to swim and walk in your purpose if you get disconnected from the creator of your purpose?

There are many that believe they have free will, but I recently learned that you don’t have free will in the sense that you can do anything outside of the two paths, you can not create some new type of will, you simply either follow God or you don’t, that is the only two choices, but ask yourself are you truly being who you were created to be? Have you really got the full peace that you need?

6) Do what you are good at, there are things that you are good at, it could even just be making others happy, the problem is when you start feeling everyone is just taking advantage, but I was once told just because I am able to really love people, does not mean I should change how I am because people do not love the way I do, it just means I am gifted to love in that way, my purpose is wrapped around this, therefore I should not let disappointments and heartbreaks make me treat people differently. Click 
here to read how to overcome the pain of rejection.

7) Deal with your hurts and wounds, and get back to you.

8) Do the simple small things that can make you remember who you were before you stopped being who you were. Dance just because you can, don’t wait till you are at a party, write something inspiring to yourself just because you can. Keep doing new things and especially old things you have stopped until you find yourself.

9) Go back, so you can go forwards. Pray and increase your faith, go back to your first love, go back to love, go back to God, be like Jacob, and don’t leave God side until you leave with your real name, your real purpose, your destiny. There is an Israel inside you. Are you willing to fight to find yourself?

10) Do what you would do if you could do anything. What would you do if money was no problem? Do that. Find a way of doing that even if it is in a small and free way, don’t let money stop you from just doing what you love, and more importantly if it is really meant for you to do, you would not need money or for people to even see you doing it, just do it. Find passion and you find yourself.


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A father, a teacher, a poetic life coach who knows to say it, feel it, see it like you already are it, now repeat it, till you are it. Obtaining wealth is a skill that can be taught. Fulfillment, completeness and divine wholeness is a manifestation of your choices. Make the right choice and transform your life, one word at a time.

Jonathan Lilley


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