#Coachthursdays - How to overcome impatience


“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting. ” – Joyce Meyer

Taekwondo is an amazing martial art. However, one thing I am particularly fond of is our tenets (building blocks), that it is built upon. Courtesy, integrity, self-control, perseverance, and indomitable spirit.

An indomitable person ‘cannot be subdued or overcome, as persons, will, or courage; unconquerable: an indomitable warrior’. Click 
here to read how to overcome low self-esteem. Click here to read how to overcome anxiety. Click here to read how to believe in yourself. Click here to read how to make things happen. Click here to read how to change habits.

The problem in life is we sometimes just accept things that we should conquer. We get very used to our bad habits and just live with them. It takes a level of reflection, and your inner man to show you things that you can not see out of your eyes. I often live my life as though I am seeing it through multiple camera lenses. My primary view is through my eyes, but I also possess the power to see myself in a birds-eye view, it is almost like I can watch my self doing things while I am actually doing them, with this ability, I have learned to be aware of when I am feeling impatient and catch my self in the act and thought.

Taekwondo also teaches us about fighting an invisible enemy, making sure we use power and correct techniques even when we are practicing our fundamentals and patterns without seeing an actual enemy standing in front of us.

As a black belt, I often wonder, when we are learning new jumping kicks, have we really learned the kick, or have we had to fight ourselves to stop fearing doing the kick, and stop fearing jumping high. I believe somethings are not actually new to us, in a sense we need to learn to unlearn the limitations we have put on ourselves, and learn to unlearn the bad habits we have formed mentally and physically, this includes just accepting things like feeling impatient. Be an indomitable person, don’t let any feeling or thought overcome you.

Over the last decade, I have realised that I have actually overcome impatience, of course, there are times when you can feel impatient in a particular area, but I have learned to realise it, and go back into my toolbox, in order to be able to stand in victory, instead of giving in, and giving it the victory. I have also learned it is often the same area where that battle comes in, such as at times feeling to just not be single and find anyone quickly to have as a partner, and in the past, I would even settle for being with a person I could touch for that particular day, even going out places and somehow randomly meeting new people that very same day. I believe the root of this is still linked to impatience.

What do you need in your toolbox to overcome impatience? –

1) Practice waiting consciously, by making yourself wait – I remember multiple times, wanting to literally smash my computer because it was taking too long to stream the series I used to binge or new episodes that had come out. However, as I was also able to see myself feeling like this, and catch myself in the act, I chose this as a learning opportunity, and I could wait happily instead of anxiously. This decision became a game, I found that anytime the internet or computers were testing my patience, I chose to win the battle, by just not caring, after all, nothing really matters that much, it is just a TV show.

2) Deal with small victories – By winning small fights over the battle of impatience, in areas even just as small as learning to not care how long a bus is taking, or how long a computer is taking to load, or a friend taking long to get ready; you begin to change what was once a trigger, to become the trigger for your new patience to kick in. Essentially you give yourself new memories of victory, and a new thinking pattern and habit, with situations that you once would have automatically became impatient about, you begin to instead automatically see the situation as an opportunity to grow and overcome it controlling you, rather you begin to realise automatically, you are now in control.

3) Realise the things that make you impatient, and take back your power, with gratitude, and contentment – Sometimes it is our dissatisfaction with life that makes us allow small things to trigger us, some people are walking around like ticking time-bombs ready to blow. Imagine if we fully believed that tomorrow, we would be getting what we have been dreaming about, would we allow small things like people running late, or someone taking long to get back to you when they owe you money etc, to take our peace away? When you know tomorrow all will be well or eventually, would we really be concerned about small things? Have you ever felt content in a place or in someone’s company that you don’t even remember the other tasks you were meant to do, you don’t even remember anything? Learn to be content, learn to just be at peace, and grateful for life. It is said we would not know joy if we didn’t know pain.

4) Take care of your wellbeing, in life I have found we open up doors for things to bother us, by leaving our defense system weak. If we are on a battlefield and we are not making sure we take care of our wellbeing, with good sleep, food, and exercise we are making room for unwanted thoughts and feelings to overcome us. Be a warrior, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Be strong, be indomitable.

What things have made you impatient?


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